Number Seven

Today is the last day of classes before Thanksgiving break! I could not be any happier or any more ready for the break. As much as I have enjoyed college so far, this break is much needed. I have not been home for almost two months, and though I have seen my family since then (I went camping at Bennett Springs with my dad and brother, my grandparents visited me at SBU, and my mom and I ran a 5K here in Bolivar), I miss my bed and the comforts of home. Not to mention the home-cooked meals. At the risk of being over-spiritual, my excitement for going home has me thinking about going home to heaven. If I am this excited to go back to Lee's Summit after spending only two months away, how excited should I be to go to heaven when the time comes? To return to God and be in His glory forever... that will be so amazing! Because I am pretty sure that heaven will be much, much better than a familiar bed and a good home-cooked meal. Heaven will be continuous joy, continuous praise, continuous basking in the face and glory of our God. Going Home will be so great; it is unfathomable to me.
I pray that all of my friends who are traveling home for Thanksgiving break will have a safe, quick journey. I pray that everyone will have a restful and relaxing break and will be re-energized. Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

Number Six

I want to die. Wait! Before you freak out and get worried, I do not want to physically die. Not yet, anyway. What I mean is that I want to die to self. Do you know how much time I spend thinking about myself? The majority of my time. I worry about what my hair looks like, what time I am going to run, what I am going to eat for dinner, when I am going to do my homework, when I will finally have some time to myself... I am constantly thinking about myself. And I think if you honestly evaluate your own thoughts, you will find that you are constantly thinking about yourself as well. It's natural for us, as humans, to be self-obsessed. Actually, I think it is natural for anything alive to be self-obsessed... animals are all about survival. We hear about the animals that eat their young or abandon their babies right after giving birth. They do those things because that is how they survive. They are concerned with themselves and their survival. We are so appalled by the animal behavior, but in a way, we are very similar. Though we don't necessarily eat our young, we are concerned with ourselves. We are #1. This is what I want to die to. As Christians, we are called to die to ourselves and the pleasures of this world and take up our cross and imitate Christ. This is not something that magically happens when we say a prayer and accept Christ. If that was the case, the world would be a much better place. If that was the case, where would forgiveness fit in? It's not the case, though. It, like everything else, is a process. An everyday process that requires all of our attention and persistance. It's a conscious choice to focus not on ourselves, but on our Savior and how to live more like Him.
I am going to focus on this and see where it takes me. I want to see how my life is changed when I stop worrying about myself and start thinking about others and Christ. Because here is what I believe: when I die to myself, when I let God rule my life and lead me... that's when I will truly find myself and my purpose. Or rather, that is when God will reveal those things to me. And honestly, I trust God and His way much, much more than I trust what I want and what I think i know!

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat- I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self."
Luke 9:23

If you grasp and cling to life on your terms, you'll lose it, but if you let that life go, you'll get life on God's terms.
Luke 17:33