Number Eight

It's December! Wow. This semester has flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was moving in to my dorm room and feeling nervous about college. I was worried about finding friends and staying caught up with my classes and being homesick. Now, almost four months later, I am no longer nervous. This place feels like home. I have found amazing friends, people that feel more like sisters than friends. I have done well in my classes and am excited for my schedule for next semester. I miss my family but I know that they are supporting me while I am here and I know that they will always be a phone call or text away when I need them! God has definitely provided for me over these months that I have been at college. He has done more things than I ever expected. It is amazing. I am so grateful and thankful to Him.
For some reason, since I have been at SBU, I have gotten crafty. I love to make things with paper. Paper crafts are my thing. The other day, I googled paper crafts and eventually got to a website that showed how to make a 3-D star. I made one with some scrapbook paper that I had bought the day before. It turned out pretty cool looking, so I hung it from my ceiling. I love adding new, homemade things to my room! It makes it feel more like my own... more personal. I also love making collages. I started making a collage using newspaper on a page of a sketch book that I have. In the middle it says "Word I Love" and surrounding it are... words that I love. Who would have known?! But the point is, I love taking things that are essentially trash and making them something that is special to me. There is just something exciting about making something out of things that don't have any other purpose and probably wouldn't be put or glued together any other time. In fact, the dictionary definition of collage is: a technique of composing a work of art by pasting on a single surface various materials not normally associated with one another. Exactly! Miscellaneous things, when put together, can suddenly become art. And doing something artistic is so relaxing. I always feel less stressed and more in tune with my thoughts and feelings when I am doing art. I am able to translate sad or stressful feelings into something more productive than climbing into bed and eating chocolate or watching a movie or show. It becomes something beautiful.
Want to know what I think? I think I am a collage. I am human. I am a mess. I have sinned and am dirty. I could be trash. I am used and battered. But God does not discard me. He doesn't throw me to the side, dismissing me as I would dismiss an old newspaper or magazine. Instead, He takes the useful parts in me and puts them together. He makes me into art; something that He can use. If I recognize that He is trying to make my life a piece of art and allow him to cut and paste as He pleases, I will be able to work alongside Him. I can work to display His art, my life, to the world. I can show everyone what He has managed to do with me and what He wants to do with the rest of us. I can show His collage and give Him the glory. If I take such pleasure in making a simple collage of words that strike a cord in my heart, what does God feel when He can create a beautiful life?
He is the Ultimate Creator.

For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.
Colossians 1:16

Number Seven

Today is the last day of classes before Thanksgiving break! I could not be any happier or any more ready for the break. As much as I have enjoyed college so far, this break is much needed. I have not been home for almost two months, and though I have seen my family since then (I went camping at Bennett Springs with my dad and brother, my grandparents visited me at SBU, and my mom and I ran a 5K here in Bolivar), I miss my bed and the comforts of home. Not to mention the home-cooked meals. At the risk of being over-spiritual, my excitement for going home has me thinking about going home to heaven. If I am this excited to go back to Lee's Summit after spending only two months away, how excited should I be to go to heaven when the time comes? To return to God and be in His glory forever... that will be so amazing! Because I am pretty sure that heaven will be much, much better than a familiar bed and a good home-cooked meal. Heaven will be continuous joy, continuous praise, continuous basking in the face and glory of our God. Going Home will be so great; it is unfathomable to me.
I pray that all of my friends who are traveling home for Thanksgiving break will have a safe, quick journey. I pray that everyone will have a restful and relaxing break and will be re-energized. Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

Number Six

I want to die. Wait! Before you freak out and get worried, I do not want to physically die. Not yet, anyway. What I mean is that I want to die to self. Do you know how much time I spend thinking about myself? The majority of my time. I worry about what my hair looks like, what time I am going to run, what I am going to eat for dinner, when I am going to do my homework, when I will finally have some time to myself... I am constantly thinking about myself. And I think if you honestly evaluate your own thoughts, you will find that you are constantly thinking about yourself as well. It's natural for us, as humans, to be self-obsessed. Actually, I think it is natural for anything alive to be self-obsessed... animals are all about survival. We hear about the animals that eat their young or abandon their babies right after giving birth. They do those things because that is how they survive. They are concerned with themselves and their survival. We are so appalled by the animal behavior, but in a way, we are very similar. Though we don't necessarily eat our young, we are concerned with ourselves. We are #1. This is what I want to die to. As Christians, we are called to die to ourselves and the pleasures of this world and take up our cross and imitate Christ. This is not something that magically happens when we say a prayer and accept Christ. If that was the case, the world would be a much better place. If that was the case, where would forgiveness fit in? It's not the case, though. It, like everything else, is a process. An everyday process that requires all of our attention and persistance. It's a conscious choice to focus not on ourselves, but on our Savior and how to live more like Him.
I am going to focus on this and see where it takes me. I want to see how my life is changed when I stop worrying about myself and start thinking about others and Christ. Because here is what I believe: when I die to myself, when I let God rule my life and lead me... that's when I will truly find myself and my purpose. Or rather, that is when God will reveal those things to me. And honestly, I trust God and His way much, much more than I trust what I want and what I think i know!

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat- I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self."
Luke 9:23

If you grasp and cling to life on your terms, you'll lose it, but if you let that life go, you'll get life on God's terms.
Luke 17:33

Number Five

I feel so blessed. God is showing Himself in my life every single day. He is providing for me in ways that I never expected! I decided, after talking with my parents and praying about it, to go on a mission trip to Baja, Mexico during spring break. I am excited for the opportunity and to see what I will learn about myself, God, and other people. This is the first mission trip I am going on that will be out of the country, so I am experiencing the process of getting a passport and preparing mentally for the first time. The money issue was stressing me out slightly, as the trip costs more than I could afford by myself. However, God provides, doesn't He? When He wants something to happen, it happens, doesn't it? I mean, He is only the Creator of the world! For this trip, God provided for me through family members. I sent out a letter to my family explaining what the trip is about and what I will be doing. I asked for prayer for the mission team and also for financial help, if they could and felt like God was calling them to help. I sent that email out only a few days ago... and I have already started receiving donations! How amazing. I was not expecting the generosity and love to come pouring in so soon. It makes me heart happy to know that not only does God provide but my family is allowing Him to work through them. I want all my family members who sent me donations to know that I love them! I appreciate them and I will not forget how you have helped me! The donations will go a long way and techincally will affect many other people. The donations allow me to go on the trip, which is designed to help other people. So, since if a=b and b=c then a=c.... my family members are helping out the community in Baja!
God provides in so many other ways as well. I don't think that I recognize Him and His work all the time. I am sure that there are times that I think "Oh, what a coincidence!" or times that I just expect things to work out perfectly when they are really God's work and His guidance in my life that causes good things to happen. My prayer for myself and everyone else is that we open our eyes and hearts to God and recognize Him. I pray that we give Him the credit and praise He deserves... who else could create the wind and the sunrise? The ocean and the sun and the birds' songs?

I have been feeling very crafty lately. I went home to Lee's Summit a couple weekends ago and decided to bring back the scarf I started knitting last winter for something new to do. I started working on it again and found that I still really enjoyed it! I like feeling like I am accomplishing something and seeing the scarf get longer and longer was so exciting for me. Then, our RA had a craft night in her room. She had scrapbook paper and other supplies for us to use to make room decorations or anything that we wanted. I was so happy that night. I was excited to be creating something other than a research paper or notes for class. After that night, I felt like the creativity bug had bit me. Me and some friends went to a scrapbook store in Bolivar and I bought some cute scrapbook paper and used it and newspaper to make some decorations for my dorm room. I had my dad mail me my art supplies from home. I am learning how to crochet and starting on another scarf. I just love being creative! It is relaxing and fun and stimulating all at the same time. It makes me feel carefree and child-like. Who knew that coloring a picture of Aladdin would be fun when I am 18 years old? I wouldn't have guessed that... but it's true! I think I like creating and doing these things because we are made to appreciate and crave beauty. I want pretty things in my room. I want things to be appealing to my eye. I think God created us this way. We are meant to notice the sun rise and the pretty color of the fall leaves. We are meant to notice them and thank God for allowing that beauty to remain in a world that we are still slowly destroying. It makes me wonder how He feels when He sees what we have done to the world. Because, honestly, if I walked into my room and saw that the things I had created were dirty and destroyed, I would be majorly ticked. All my hard work, wasted! I wonder if God feels the same way. I know He is much more forgiving than I am and has extended us grace... but I still don't want to disappoint Him. I want to appreciate the beauty He created! And there is beauty everywhere.
Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see and praise!

God looked over everything he had made; it was so good, so very good!
Genesis 1:31

Number Four

I can not believe it is almost October! This past month and a half has flown by!



This time is in my life is definitely about opportunity. I have the opportunity to come down to school and take classes. I have the opportunity to learn about the bible and take as many English classes as I can. I have the opportunity to walk across the dorm hall and knock on my friend's door just to say "hey" or watch a few episodes of Boy Meets World. I have the opportunity to sign up for mission trips and to talk about God in my classrooms. I have the opportunity to go to football games and fitness classes. There are so many things that I can participate in that I have never done before. I am so excited for the next four years because I want to participate in and experience everything that I can. I want to stretch myself and figure out who I am and what I like. I want to feel uncomfortable so I can grow and mature.

The word opportunity reminds of the movie Evan Almighty. I know the movie is not necessarily Christian, as it is a comedy and parody based on the story of Noah's ark, but I love it. I find myself comparing what the characters in the movie say to what the bible says about God. I love one scene in particular. It is about halfway through the movie. Evan has begun to build the ark and his family has left him. His wife thinks he is going crazy because he keeps saying that God told him to build an ark. His wife is in a restaurant talking to a waiter about her situation. The waiter, who is Morgan Freeman playing God, talks about how God works.
"Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does He give them opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"
I love this quote. I have been praying that I learn how to trust God more. I want to hear His voice and feel His guidance in my life. There have been a few situations that I do not know how to handle by myself. In the midst of these situations, I find myself praying that God will show me what to do and how to act. Then, as soon as I say "amen" I begin to try to solve the problem by myself. Then I wonder why God didn't lead me and show me what to do. But what if this quote applies to my situation? What if God is giving me oppurtunites to trust Him? What if He is sitting there, waiting for me to come to Him and listen? This totally changes the way I think about things. It makes me realize that God is always ready to lead me and is constantly giving me hard situations so I can use them as an opportunity to let Him pilot my life.

Embrace opportunity.
"Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."
Galatians 6:10

Number Three

So, here I am! Sitting in my college dorm room between classes! It was my first day of actual classes, though I have been living on campus since last Wednesday. College is definitely a huge transition, one that is completely blowing my mind! I don't think I have ever felt so independent and on my own ever. No one is here to tell me to go to class. No one is here to tell me not to eat that cookie for dessert. No one is here to tell me that I should go to bed. No one is here to buy me food or snacks. No one is here to do my laundry! No one but me. It's a very strange feeling, yet one that I am happy to endure. I can already tell that my experience here at college will change me and who I am from the inside out. I have already had to stretch myself and expose myself to things that I would never have done at home. I have had to start over, with no friends nearby... no safety net. But God has blessed me. God has filled my life and home here at college with amazingly wonderful people. Though I have a hard time being outgoing and opening my heart to people right away, I already feel that I will have a place here. I am confident that God will lead me to the right people and the right group of friends. I am confident that God will continue to shower me with love that causes my heart to sing with joy, even when I am walking around the campus with no physical person beside me. I have realized that even when I appear alone to passerbys, I am not. I am not alone... ever. God is in me. God is with me. I can do anything through and with Christ. And honestly... I am realizing now that I need Him. I need Him so badly. I could not do this... life, college, school... without Him.

There is one body and one Spirit- just as you were called to one hope when you were called- one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Ephesians 4:4-5

Number Two

Everyday, college becomes closer! I have started making lists of things to take with me: clothes, books, shoes, pictures, knick-knacks. How do you choose a few, special things to take to a small, shared dorm room from a room that is full 18 years of special things? It is the strangest thing, but one that is inevitable.

I find it funny that life is one big circle. When I was younger, maybe 10 or 11, I had a loft bed in my room. My dad built it and painted it white and I loved it. I had curtains hanging off of it so the chair and desk under the bed seemed totally separate from the outside world. Then, I grew up and got bigger and climbing up the ladder to the bed seemed like too much work. But, behold, here I am going to college and my dad just finished building me a loft bed! And I am excited about it! I am excited about putting my books on the shelf he added to the head of the bed and to set up my papasan chair and bookcase under it. It seems ironic that I will be sleeping in the same style of bed at age 18 as I was when I was 11. The things that I once thought I had outgrown forever and re-entering my life. Odd!
I also find myself laughing at my thinking lately. Though I know I am only going to be a freshmand and have plently of time to consider my future and figure out what to do with my life, I am anxious to know. I want to know NOW what I should be studying and concentrating on. When we are younger, we are told that we can do anything that we want to do. That thought excites us and we spend many afternoons pretending to be teachers, doctors, mothers, or astronauts. Anything! And now, I feel like, once again, I have so many options. This new chapter brings tons of opportunities. I can study whatever I want; I can choose to be whatever I want. But... what I want is for someone to tell me what to do! I am overwhelmed by all the possibilities. I fear that I may choose the wrong path and end up in the wrong place. What if I change my mind? What if I am not happy with my choice in future years?
What if?

Matthew 6:34
Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Do not worry.

Number One

Welcome to my blog! I have been thinking about starting a blog and wanting to start one for a while now. I have been inspired by the blogs that I have read, whether they be about deep issues, life lessons, or just funny stories about daily life. I don't know what mine will be about yet, but I am sure it will come together soon!

I named the blog "The Next Chapter" because this summer is a special summer for me and my fellow members of the Class of 2010. This is the last summer that we are spending as true residents of Lee's Summit. Next summer, when we all return home, we will also be leaving our second homes, at college, wherever we are attending. It's an exciting time. We all are so ready to move on to college, ready to meet new people, move into our dorms, and start our own lives. But as ready as I am to create my life in college, I am loving the relaxed atmosphere of the summer. I am so glad that we still have time to hang out and solidify our relationships before we all head off!

New chapters seem to be beginning all the time. For us, the next chapter is college. For some people, the new chapter is marriage. For some, it is a new baby. For some, it is a marriage ending. It's as if every day brings a new situation, a new chapter, to light. New chapters can be celebrated, and a lot of the time they are. Sometimes they are bittersweet. Sometimes it is hard to see the good in a new chapter beginning, because we were satisfied with the old chapter. I know that I have experienced bittersweet feelings. I have felt angry at a change in my life because I was so happy and comfortable with the way things had been going. And I still feel those sad, angry feelings sometimes when I think about the changes that happened. But I am reminded that there is a bigger plan. There is a bigger plan for me, for my family, for my friends, for the world.

Proverbs 19:21- Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.